What is Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder?

February 20, 2024 Angela Garcia

Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD) is a psychological response that occurs when an individual experiences intense stress, emotional upheaval, and distress after discovering infidelity within their relationship. Just as people can feel overwhelmed and shaken by traumatic events like accidents or disasters, PISD arises from the emotional trauma caused by the breach of trust that accompanies infidelity.

The distress caused by PISD is not limited to emotional turmoil; it can also manifest physically, affecting sleep patterns, appetite, and overall physical health. Relationships may suffer further strain due to the disruption in communication, trust, and intimacy caused by PISD.

Acknowledging the reality of PISD is crucial for individuals and couples seeking healing and recovery. While it may not yet have an official label, the emotional and psychological impact is undeniable. By addressing the challenges of PISD head-on and finding healthy ways to navigate its effects, individuals and couples can work towards healing, rebuilding trust, and ultimately regaining a sense of emotional well-being.

Symptoms of PISD

The symptoms of PISD can be wide-ranging and can overlap with those of PTSD and other anxiety-related disorders.

Is PISD a Real Condition?

PISD is not yet officially recognized as a distinct mental health disorder in diagnostic manuals like the DSM-5. However, research and clinical observations suggest that the psychological impact of infidelity can indeed be severe enough to resemble post-traumatic stress symptoms. The emotional toll caused by infidelity can be so significant that it seems similar to the symptoms of post-traumatic stress.

The deep distress, intrusive and troubling thoughts, and shifts in how someone behaves that are found in people with PISD are like what's seen in others with trauma-related issues. In simple words, even if it doesn't have its own official label yet, the pain and struggles of PISD are genuine and can affect people in ways similar to those who've been through traumatic events.

Anxiety in PISD

Experiencing anxiety after being cheated on is a common and understandable reaction to the emotional trauma of infidelity. The discovery or realization of a partner's betrayal can lead to a range of anxious feelings and thoughts. Individuals might find themselves constantly worrying about their relationship, feeling on edge, or struggling with a heightened sense of insecurity.

Anxiety after being cheated on often includes intrusive thoughts, where images or memories of the betrayal keep replaying in one's mind. These thoughts can be distressing and difficult to control, contributing to a cycle of anxiety. Feelings of betrayal and mistrust can intensify the anxiety, as individuals grapple with a sense of uncertainty about their partner's intentions and the stability of the relationship.

Physical symptoms of anxiety may also manifest, such as increased heart rate, shallow breathing, muscle tension, and difficulty sleeping. Everyday situations that were once routine may now trigger anxiety due to the association with infidelity.

Coping Strategies for PISD

Healing and Moving Forward

Acknowledge Your Feelings

When you've been through the pain of cheating, it's important to know that your emotions are valid and natural reactions. Feeling hurt, angry, betrayed, and even confused are all part of the process. It's like your heart going through a storm of feelings. It's okay to have these emotions, and you don't need to judge yourself for having them. Just as you wouldn't blame yourself for feeling cold on a chilly day, you shouldn't blame yourself for feeling these emotions in response to something hurtful. Letting yourself feel and acknowledge these emotions is a step toward healing, like opening a door to understand and work through what you're going through.

Forgiveness

Forgiving someone doesn't mean saying what they did was okay. It's about letting go of the anger that's weighing you down. It's like putting down a heavy backpack of bad feelings you've been carrying. When you forgive, you're giving yourself a chance to breathe and move forward without the weight of anger holding you back. It's a way of taking care of yourself and focusing on your own well-being instead of staying stuck in the past.

Rebuilding Trust

Individual and Couples Therapy

Therapy can be thought of as having a guide who knows how to help when things are tough. It doesn’t have to be for only one person – it can make both you and the person you are in a relationship with feel better. Talking to a therapist can help you understand your feelings and learn how to handle them. It can also help your relationship by giving you both a safe place to talk, listen, and work through issues together. It's like having a map to navigate the challenges and find a better path forward.

Focus on Self-Growth

Even though going through tough times is hard, it can also be a chance to learn more about yourself and become stronger. Just like a plant grows through the cracks in the sidewalk, you can find ways to grow even when things are difficult. This experience can teach you things you didn't know about yourself, your strengths, and what you truly want. It's like turning a tough situation into a chance to become a better version of yourself. Embracing this idea can lead to positive changes and a deeper understanding of who you are.

Create New Shared Experiences

Whether it's trying new activities, going on trips, or just spending quality time, positive experiences can bring you closer together.

Conclusion

Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder is a psychological condition that highlights the profound impact infidelity can have on an individual's mental and emotional well-being. The symptoms and distress associated with PISD are real and can be debilitating. However, with the right strategies, support, and dedication, healing and growth are possible. Whether through therapy, communication, or self-care, individuals can navigate the complex emotions of PISD and ultimately find a path to recovery and resilience.